5 Ways to Live Light

Life has not always been light for me. Before I set out on my own to become a coach, the one constant at the five companies I worked at for over a 20-year period was drama. And I was not immune to it—I took part in hundreds of hushed conversations, I passed along gossip I heard to others and I bought coffee for my superiors as one of my many attempts to play the game and win them over. We’re biologically designed to want to fit in and be part of a tribe, so some of this behavior is human nature, but it still felt wrong to me.

So in mid-life, I intentionally decided to make a simple, yet massive change. I left the comforts of my corporate career and set off on my own. This one decision shifted the trajectory of my life and the lives of those around me.

And since making that decision, life, for the most part, has been light.

Would you like to live on the lighter side of life?

Here are 5 lessons I’ve learned along the way.

1. Decide to go after your dreams, regardless of the outcome.

Even after checking all the boxes—home, marriage, kids, career—do you feel like something is missing from your life? Do you hear a whisper from deep within nudging you away from your current status quo? Instead of feeling guilty for wanting more meaning in your life, allow yourself to feel excitement and optimism. These higher vibrations will carry you forward on the emotional (and somewhat rocky) path of change.

A few years ago I walked away from a corporate career and its corresponding salary. Many didn’t understand my decision. From the outside, it looked like I had it made—a prestigious title, business meetings all over the world, two happy kids doing fun things with their nanny, and a husband who was happily self-employed with time to get out on his bicycle. Yes, my bank account was full, but my heart felt empty. It took me 20 years and dealing with my own chronic health conditions to figure out what the heck I wanted to do—which was helping others shed the weight that was holding them back from the lives they wanted to live. Once I made the decision to leave my job life immediately became lighter. I didn't know how things would turn out—but I knew I was going to give my dream a shot, regardless. Regardless! We woudln’t have the financial security we had grown accustomed to at first—but my heart felt light, so I knew that going after my dream was right.

So what does your dream look like?

If you don’t know, pause, get still and think about what matters most to you. It takes courage to try out a different path, but once you decide to go for it, you’ll be flooded with so many good feels.

2. Whether you’re artistic or not, express your creativity.

Human beings are inherently creative beings! Yet for decades I thought I wasn’t creative because I wasn’t a bonafide artist. As a child, I enjoyed sitting at my mom’s pottery wheel, but my pots always turned out lumpy. And then all those years I worked in corporate, well not once did I sit in the “creative” department where the designers and copywriters sat. Thankfully today I know that if you want to unleash your creativity you don’t need a title on a business card, or a framed certificate on the wall. Instead, creativity is all about releasing yourself from expectation and attaching yourself to inspiration.

Growing up my two sisters and I didn’t have coloring books—instead we got blank sheets of paper. My mom didn’t want us to feel like we had to color within the lines. She wanted us to follow our own intuition and lean into whatever felt right. She wanted us to say no to the boxes—to any boxes. Even with her guidance, for years everything I did was my attempt to make my parents proud. Good grades—check. Graduate from college—check. Live abroad and become fluent in a foreign language—check. Fall in love while abroad—oops I wasn’t supposed to do that! Come back to the States and get a corporate job—check. Get an MBA—check. Move up the ladder—check. And with each promotion, I’d wonder if I’d finally be able to color outside the lines and try new things. Sometimes I’d be given free rein, but more often than not, the answer would be no. Over time I stopped caring. It’s hard to stay emotionally invested, even with a big paycheck, if you don’t feel like you can make a difference. Everything changed when I became my own CEO. I was flooded with ideas—and today the well is not even close to running dry! The inspiration comes when I’m out on walks, baking in the kitchen, or sitting still in the back yard basking in the sun. You still won’t find my paintings in a museum, but as an entrepreneur, I get the gift of lightness that comes from exercising my creative muscles every single day.

So how do you express your creativity?

Do you want to color outside the lines? And if so, what inspiration can you attach yourself to so that you can begin to live lighter?

3. Listen to your intuition, even if it’s barely a whisper.

There will always be bumps along the road. If something isn’t feeling right it’s probably not right—and it’s time to trust your instincts. It might take a few tries to learn this lesson, and that’s okay, especially if you can find the silver lining—which might be simply that you have intuition!

People will always be after your time, attention and finances. If the offers coming your way don’t feel like a heck yes! then you’re better off with a no. I made a few poor choices this year and with each of those decisions I felt a ping deep inside at the moment of acceptance—yet I still moved forward. At the time I didn’t want the ping to be right and so I would exert a lot of mental energy convincing myself that the decision was a good one. It never was. That ping? It’s a gift. And I’ve decided to trust it no matter what from now on. It makes life lighter since I’ll no longer say yes when it feels more like a no.

So that ping of yours? Don’t make it mean that you can’t trust your decisions, instead, be grateful you have it and that you hear it.

Before you know it, you’ll start to trust it.

4. Live by your priorities, and not by the agendas of others'.

I prioritize family above all else—yet my actions over this past summer would say otherwise. After crossing off everything on my to-do list the tiny scraps of time left, well those went to my family. There were days my kids got a measly 15 minutes of me, and more often than not, it was a distracted me. I was so blinded by the day-to-day deadlines imposed on me by others that I took for granted those I share a home with every day.

Thank goodness I woke up now and not 10 years from now when my kids will be out of the house. I started a new Sunday evening habit that’s serving my family and me well. I write down a list of all I want to do for the week, and then I schedule it onto my calendar. I start by blocking out time for self-care and family activities. Once those are on the calendar I add time for working on my business and time for working in my business. Responding to the many requests for free time coming from strangers has fallen to the bottom of the list—and I don’t allow myself to feel guilty about it. Maybe I’ll be available for a Zoom coffee date where someone wants to pick my brain about launching a successful coaching business, but only if I’ve already played soccer in the backyard with my boys or hung out with a good girlfriend. And that’s how I want it to be.

So what are your priorities?

What do you care about most?

Now’s the best time to start designing the life of your dreams by scheduling in the things most important to you.

5. When overwhelmed, ask yourself, “What does love look like to me right now?”

Take a few deep breaths. Now ask yourself, what does love look like to me right now at this very moment? Maybe it’s a walk with your dog? Perhaps a long bath soaking in magnesium? Or enjoying a bowl of homemade soup? Sometimes love looks like pushing forward and finishing the project. But sometimes love looks like pulling back and creating a pause with no intention of filling it.

Timeouts are important, yet be wary of the powerful pull of filler activities—things we do so that we’re not alone with thoughts we don’t like. What does this look like? Watching all of Netflix, creating endless to-do lists and mindlessly scrolling on social media instead of interacting with those around you, are a few.

So what does love look like to you?

Is it removing yourself from the drama? Getting out in nature? Listening to and supporting a dear friend? Journaling about the dream deep within you?

Do it and watch the overwhelm melt away.

When you decide to go light, life will always feel right.