A Fresh Take on Resolutions

What if we’ve been doing resolutions wrong all these years? And since many of us don’t achieve our resolutions—often feeling defeated before we even start, what if there were another way? One that felt good from Day 1?

Most of us currently do resolutions in a go, set, ready mode—placing all our hopes on willpower and that this year it’ll finally get us over the finish line. So we go before we’re ready and the resolutions end up being a heavy burden and proof that once again, we couldn’t figure it out or that we’re lacking in some instrumental way. It’s human to find fault from within—but why give ourselves another opportunity to prove that we’re not stacking up?

So let’s do resolutions differently.

Rather than setting ourselves up to fail, what if we first paused and thought about how we wanted to feel over the course of the year? Instead of focusing solely on vague end goals—lose weight, stop drinking so much, become debt-free—we got clarity on our desired feelings, such as feeling light—and made that the primary goal. 

This is a different kind of resolution.

Instead of starting with the end in mind, we focus on the means. Instead of focusing on the exact number of pounds we want to lose, the number of drinks we can or can’t have, and the details of our debt, we focus on how it would feel to live lighter—in all aspects—now, not 1 year from now. Over time, and in a sustainable, non-rigid way, resolutions made this way will come true. 

But it’s normal to sometimes get in the way of ourselves. So what if any time we became aware that we’re headed south into a downward thought spiral, we used the mantra go light to break free from its grasp? I believe all emotions are warranted, but we indulge in some for too long and that’s what keeps us telling the same story year after year. 

So do you really want this to be the year that it all happens?

Create a list of ways you have self-sabotaged in the past so that you can go into this new year with your eyes wide open. The next time you find yourself on the brink of behavior that keeps you stuck it’ll be easier to remind yourself to make a lighter choice—because feeling light is your one resolution.

In those moments that feel heavy, instead of self-sabotage, start small. Ask yourself, “What’s one thing I can do instead of (eating all the cookies, having another glass of wine, buying the expensive sweater that looks like all the other sweaters I have) to feel lighter?” And your answer doesn’t have to be complicated—tell yourself to do whatever it’ll take to feel light—like a shower or a walk around the block. Both of these have the power to not only change your physical state but to change your mental and emotional state and before you know it the craving will pass.

It doesn’t take much, but it does take intention.

You may have guessed it by this point—my resolution in 2021 is to feel LIGHT. I believe that this one decision to feel light can have a massive impact on our wellbeing.

Here’s what LIGHT looks like for me:

L = Letting go of anything that’s clutter—most of the stuff is a distraction anyway. I’m not going to find solutions, happiness, nor my meaning in stuff. Instead, I want to collect moments in 2021, not things. 

I = Immersing myself in intention—I don’t want to consume all of Netflix, but I do want to consume food that fills me with energy and pep and laughter. I won’t need to carry the weight that comes from knowing I’m not living at my best—because it’ll no longer be there.

G = Gravitating toward gratitude—I spent decades feeling like I should be happy because I had the job, the title and the best cube in the row—but deep down I felt empty. I left that world and it hasn’t been easy but it’s been the greatest adventure of my adult life. Just like it’s easy to get used to the beautiful mountains if you see them every day, it’s easy to forget the place you started from. This year in the heavier moments I’ll remind myself how far I’ve come.  

H = Helping others—When we focus on others, it can help us find our way back to ourselves—our dreams, our goals, our happiness. For me, there’s nothing better than helping others in getting lighter (in a joyful abundant curious way) without feeling restricted at all.

T = Taking time-outs—Space in my day will keep things in perspective. My intentional pauses will allow: less rigidness and more flow, less pressure and more patience, less clutter and more consciousness, and less scrolling and more silence. 

What would feeling LIGHT in 2021 look like for you?

And if you’re reading this and berating yourself for not doing “all the things” you said you would in 2020, please stop punishing yourself. Last year was unique—and it certainly wasn’t a waste. Guaranteed you learned new things, had epiphanies and at a minimum, you now know you can make it through multiple months of a global pandemic. A pandemic that isn’t quite over, yet.

Release the heaviness from last year and choose to feel light moving forward.

In 2021 I’ll be embracing the simple mantra of feeling light—from Day 1, to across the finish line.