How to Stop Overcomplicating Things

We overcomplicate things. It’s not just you or me, I see this happening everywhere. As humans we're drawn to the drama of an unmade decision just like the honey bees are drawn to the Colorado sunflowers in my front garden right now.

Why do we go after the complicated? 

It adds a shallow texture to our day.  And our brains like to overthink things so that we can delay decision making. 

Many of us have three dominant voices in our heads—I call them Annie the over-analyzer, Debbie the doubter and Paula the perfectionist. These three keep us right where we are, stuck in the comfort of familiarity, not making whatever decision it is that's staring us in the face.

Like the decision to finally get healthy. Or maybe you're struggling with the decision to clean out your car or declutter your home.

Regardless, we overcomplicate things to help delay our decision making because if we can create a delay, then we won’t fail. We won't reach our dreams either, but at least we didn't fail trying, right?

So what does over-complication look like?

Well....we worry about not knowing how to do things or about not knowing how to do them right. We procrastinate. We wait for the perfect time—when we deep down know that there’ll never be a perfect time. We come up with excuses for why we’re where we are and why we aren't where we want to be. We waste time comparing ourselves to others rationalizing why we aren’t where they are. We welcome and are relieved by interruptions. And we hesitate by interpreting outside circumstances as roadblocks and reasons why we can’t or shouldn’t move forward.  

We’re so afraid of failing that we unnecessarily complicate things so that we don’t have to move forward, even when deep down we want to! All of this creates massive mental and emotional clutter, making our internal lives much heavier.

So how we do untangle ourselves from all the complications?

First, start by knowing that the worst thing that can happen to you when you make a decision is an emotion. And hey, emotions are already happening to you so you’ve got this! Staying where you are, but having dreams of being elsewhere is probably creating some unrest or sadness. And what if you never go after your dream? Bronnie Ware, an Australian nurse who spent several years working in palliative care, shared in her book The Top Five Regrets of the Dying that the biggest regret at the end of life was not having “the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.”

And that’s the second step.

Find the courage to live a life true to you.

Before leaving my very stable and well-paying corporate job, I imagined and fantasized about a different path—but fear was always present in the form of what if I leave and I’m not successful? This kept me going into the office day after day. However, over time the feelings that came with staying put grew more painful than the fear I thought I’d experience if I walked away. Things reached a tipping point and I left. I nervously yet gleefully set my sights on becoming a coach. Over the last few years, my dream of a much more meaningful career (for me) came to reality. Was it easy? Oh no. But the way I moved through a mountain of fear was with action as my constant companion. Any time things didn't go my way I’d wallow for a few minutes, and then I’d shake it off and find the lesson so that I could keep on growing, stretching, and becoming.

So without a doubt, if you go after your dreams, you’ll experience fear.

But the only way to get to the joy that's waiting for you at the other end is to welcome it and move through it.

So get curious about what it really is you want in life. And then find the courage to live a life true to yourself. Face your scary thoughts with action and in less time than you think, that fear will lose the scary paralyzing grip it has on your life. Worried that you won't be able to figure it out? Read Marie Forleo’s book, Everything is Figuroutable.

Life is as complicated as we choose to make it.

If you want to live a lighter life, get crystal clear on your dreams—your dreams for better health, for relationships, and even how you’ll create your wealth. Own them by knowing why they’re so important to you. Figure out how you need to show up for them to come to fruition. Focus on the what, the why and the how, but don’t forget the who—who you need to become, or the who you need to let out, to create the magic you want to experience.

And then decide.

Decide that you're no longer going to hide behind the complications. Decide that you’re going after your dreams no matter what. Decide that failure isn’t about the outcome—instead, decide it’s about whether or not you choose to move—forward, sideways, backward, in any direction at all! Because if those honey bees have taught me anything, movement of any kind can equal learning if we choose, and learning always equals progress.

Really want a happier, more fulfilling, and lighter life? Then consider getting out of the habit of overcomplicating it.